While the whole world is finding a new normal, some of us are still in almost complete quarantine. Honestly, the more people start moving around, the more quarantined I become. Being immune compromised makes quarantine a requirement, not an option – or so I’m told by family, friends and doctors…. 🙂
One of the ways I have chosen to live my life with Lyme is not to worry about what could happen and live my life the way I want while taking reasonable precautions. COVID has completely challenged that moto. At the beginning of the pandemic, I was still traveling both nationally and internationally (until end of February) but since then, I have been at home with almost zero human interaction outside the house. While everything was shut down, it was easy to stay at home, without any FOMO (fear of missing out) and without any internal arguments of “am I being safe or paranoid”.
Now that everything is starting to open up, it’s getting harder by the day, not only for me but for those in my life. For my friends and family, they are trying to respect that I am being more careful than others but at the same time not leave me out. There are trips, picnics and drinks that happen every week that I see on social media and when I talk to them, I can tell they feel bad for not inviting me but at the same time they know I can’t make it or even more, they don’t want to put me at risk. For me it’s between a rock and a hard spot. Not being invited makes me feel left out and forgotten, but being invited makes me rethink staying in quarantine, so ultimately they are keeping me safe by not inviting me but my emotions don’t always listen to reason.
FOMO is real and social media is the worst proponent of it! Every time I scroll down Instagram and see family together, groups of friends, restaurants or travel, it just makes me think of everything I can’t do and why I can’t do it. Keep in mind as you scroll through social media, that picture is a brief moment in time and doesn’t tell a story, just captures a moment. No one knows what happened before or after that picture and the storied behind the picture make all the difference. A gorgeous picture on the beach could be from last year and not right now at all. A family gathering could be because of a tragedy or the group of friends could all test positive for COVID next week, you just never know. All you can do is take the available information from scientists, your doctors and your family and make the best decisions you can make for your self.
Anxiety is a natural tendency that I have had my whole life but have chosen to counterbalance it with forcing myself into uncomfortable situations. I used to be scared of heights and when I was 17 decided that every city I visited I would go to the tallest building and forget about the height and enjoy the beauty. Tall buildings are now my favorite part of cities. During quarantine my anxiety has been through the roof and I’m struggling to see clearly between safety and anxiety. Some days I have the thought that maybe I should just not care and see what happens, then everyone in my life disagrees and I realize that is an extreme attempt to counterbalance my anxiety. Right now I am relying heavily on my support system to help guide me between anxiety and safety.
Beyond all of the emotional struggles that have grown exponentially during quarantine, how am I choosing to stay safe? First, remember that I also have extremely sensitive Celiac disease. I started my safety list by determining where the most likely causes of a trip to the hospital. For me, gluten is the number one reason I end up in the hospital so eating out and taking the gluten cross contamination risk is not even a question. For COVID exposure, I have read some encouraging studies of the high amount of virus that has to be present to contract through the digestive system, so I am not concerned for COVID but terrified that I will have a gluten incident and land myself in the hospital on high dose steroids. I have ordered out once since February and it was a 100% gluten free bakery for take out and I felt completely safe!
The exposure on surfaces has also had encouraging studies to show that the virility decreases fairly quickly on surfaces, so while I wouldn’t go jump in an Uber or use a public scooter right now, I don’t make my mail quarantine for 4 days.
What worries me the most is face to face contact, or even mask to mask contact. The studies showing that it can last in humid air and person to person contact is the leading infection source, makes me very nervous. Even with a mask, I stay 6’ away and without a mask over 10’ and only with people that I know have been extremely careful. It sounds so simple to keep distance, but people are SO very bad at remembering it during the entirety of an interaction. Someone always wants to show something on the phone, or get excited about what they are talking about, or something catches their eye and they move around, and the list goes on. Walking outside makes me nervous when people run by without a mask, just because they are running doesn’t mean their breath can’t infect others so unless someone has a mask I will cross the street or make a turn on to another street. It is also very hard to tell people that will put their mask on correctly when they approach or not, as even those that have a mask on them some keep it under their chin or under their nose rendering it useless.
As I start to think about the future and how I will interact with people until really 2021, I foresee being very careful who interact with, wearing masks and learning how to safely socially distance in order to get some human interaction. Also learning how to safely fly. Travel is one of the things I love most in the world and I will find a way to do it safely, and will keep you posted 🙂 One of the easiest parts of quarantine for me has been work. I am blessed that I have a job that was remote with travel and is now just remote and best of all the whole company is remote. I don’t have to explain why I can’t get on planes or travel to other offices, because no one is traveling until at least 2021. Normally I wouldn’t be excited about this but I have worked very hard in my career to do it during my Lyme journey without brining my illness to work. Some of my previously colleagues and supervisors know of my journey, but most do not. One of the biggest drawbacks of sharing my story is the idea that the separation between my illness and my career would begin to crumble. So far, I have a couple current colleagues that know and it isn’t the end of the world 🙂
As I think about the future and today, I realize just how important my immune system is and will be in my ability to leave the house. For a healthy person, boosting your immune system actually isn’t all that hard! Adding a supplement or two can be all you need to solidify your immune system. A good multi-vitamin and a daily immune boost supplement work wonders for normally healthy people. For immune compromised people, it is a little more difficult but here is the regiment that I am currently taking:
- Mitochondria Support
- Detox Support
- Immune Support
- Hydration
At the end of the day, quarantine and COVID precautions are a personal decision. We don’t have nearly enough information for any one way to be the only right way, but for now, this is how I’m living 💚💚